It’s Called A Comeback!

Just a thought,
Maybe I’m the Abandoner!
Is that even a word? I guess you get the drift…

Today, at the edge of 29, I realize that I spent so many years performing the creative, uncomplicated and not-so-appreciated art of Abandoning…

Let me explain –
When my fingers bled, I gave up Guitar…
When my skin would tan, I gave up Swimming…
When a story seemed slow, I gave up the author…
When I met with an accident, I gave up the gym…
When I said something wrong & couldn’t undo it, I gave up the friendship…

I could go on for hours with an extensive list of all the things I gave up on rather than endeavor to surpass its complexity and finally finish something!

Flashback to 2 years ago; I had made a New Year’s Resolution to finish everything that I started as well as finish the things I hadn’t before. But as they say Life goes on, so did mine and I forgot about all the things I missed out on before and only completed those “assignments” that I had taken up in my then-present.
Does that make sense? The ever-so-famous “rat race” got the best of me and as easily as sand, every one of those things slipped out of my memory.

“But trying takes so much effort!” she said…
“Forget this hard thing, how about that easy thing… it looks so doable!” she said…
“Why get out of our comfort-zone, stay in… it feels so cozy!” she said…
My inner voice, she always seems to win, no matter what.
With time the lesser I tried, the more my will power diminished and the harder it became to try again!

It’s depressing, the way I lost myself by giving up on those passions, on those hobbies, on those friends that made me, ME. In my effort to keep running with this pace of life, I started losing my breath, resultant lagging behind. In the times of Cold-shoulder crop tops and Facebook, I forgot the Hoodie-Jogger & First Edition Paperback lover in me.

You would know how painful it is, if you watched the movie ‘Inside Out’ directed by Pete Docter. It’s probably meant for kids I know… but main message aside, a part of the take away is so relevant to me! There are certain moments, certain people, hobbies, passions in our life that create the fundamental Islands of our Personality as we grow up. If we lose those, if they wither away just as the grey memories in the memory dump, what’s eventually left of us?
– This is absolute movie referencing right here! Don’t fret if you don’t get.

There’s a reason I’m not afraid to admit that I didn’t make the most of the talents I’m bestowed with or that I failed at channeling my energies in honing & utilizing my skills. I’m sure a lot of us are struggling with that but are just too embarrassed to admit it out loud.

The reason is that, lately, with some help from Family and Friends, I have finally begun. Noting down, listing out all of which I left incomplete and taking each of them up as a project. It’s slow, I’ll tell you that, but I’m getting there. Blogging, Reading, Crocheting, Painting, Language Learning, Reconnecting, Gym… I’m gradually putting my derailed life back on its tracks and soon enough I will revive my lost personality! I will be Me again!

So for all those of us who are In This To Win This, here’s a little message this Good Samaritan once shared with me…

When things get tough,
And you feel like you just can’t…
Don’t put a pause! No!
Consider it a fire that’s here to baptize you!
Don’t be afraid,
To take that chance…
To confront,
To bleed,
To hurt,
To be rejected,
To be knocked down.
‘Coz at the end of the day
You have nothing to lose…
But that Chance
Which you will probably never get again.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Linda says:

    Will written.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Aman Gupta says:

    Go on with the blog. And god work.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply to Linda Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.