Hope Heals You

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy.

~ Doing my morning chores
I went on for a refreshing bath
Saw a bucket full of pickle
From it a Lobster started to trickle
It was full of determination to live on
Not to be killed and chop everyone who’d even try
It came closer to me as I started to bath
I pushed it away with fright
And my toe got caught in the fight
As I tried to force it lose
I hurt the lobster, and blew its fuse
It pounced onto my hand & in one swift snip
Took a vital part of my body away
Leaving me throbbing in pain
And splatting blood everywhere
With no mercy to spare..~

I jumped breathlessly out of my sleep
Luckily, all my body parts I got to keep
And yet there was a part of me that had changed
Completely entangled, lonely and deranged..

I knew my whole life had just been turned upside down
And maybe there were things that would never leave me again
The burden of which I would carry all my life
Going through the motions without feeling alive..

As I lay there on my couch staring
Looking into nothingness, endlessly awaiting
Suddenly rising I started to search
Searched in the cupboards, searched on the floor,
Searched under the pillows, searched outside the door,
Came back inside and searched in the attic,
Tears trickling, slow sobs, accompanied by the static

Starting to losing patience,
Desperation seeping in,
I searched every corner of my house
But the endeavour was limitless..

I didn’t know what I was looking for,
I didn’t know what I would find,
Once everything started to turn black
I seized my quest
And surrendered to the cold floor..

I felt the tiles embrace me
Suck me into their silence
For hours I lay there not feeling so much as the air around me
Oblivious to everything that surrounds me..

I felt it call out to me
Address me by what I’ve yearned to hear it say
It kept me warm,
It calmed my storm,
And lifted me back on my feet.

My ears were deaf to the relentless phone, the merciless doorbells
I cuddled up in my loneliness,
Cozied up on my grief,
Blocked my ears with ignorance
And dreamt of walking on fire and burns and blood.. Lots of blood!

And then I heard a knock,
A loud continuous thudding on the door
Cutting through the quiet
There! That was my ray of hope!

I flew to the door
Letting the light come in
Coz there was happiness in that light
And that’s what I wanted to be!

I watched hope questioning me
Waiting till it spilled its fears
Instructed me what I should do or not do
Worry not ready to leave its brows

And then there was the spark of humour
The one that unintentionally creeps into a crisis
And there was that contagious smile
That lifts my spirit to unmentionable heights

And even though every inch of my soul still ached
I couldn’t help myself from reciprocating
Realizing that that was my hope’s ray of light
And suddenly my body accepted the pain
Making it a part of itself
Adjusting to it like a handicap to his lost limbs..

I wanted no more of it
I wanted to be set free
My heart was tired, my mind was weary,
My eyes still bulging from the rivers I shed
I decided to give myself away
To let hope’s light suck me in
Peel me naked
Cleanse my soul
Wash my mind pure
And then I knew I wasn’t in it alone
I could lean on hope while it floated
And let it take me, make me, unbreak me..

So I gave hope a chance
And in turn I knew Hope gave me one too..

~ I lay there on the bathroom floor,
Bloodshed and tears fled
From the battle between me and that lobster
It took away a part of me
But it brought to me a new perspective,
Cleared the illusions blocking my sight..
Giving me Hope I could trust with all my might. ~

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